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day 104 - Fresno, CA - the day of reckoning - 1/18/05

"It is like this: One thinks of deafness, that it is complete stillness. But Oh no, that is wrong. It is a never-ending noise in the head, ranging down to the lowest ringing, perhaps the way sand sounds, trickling, then knocking, but worst of all it pounds in the head so that one never knows where to turn one's head. That is a great torture for us. This is the reason why we are sometimes so touchy, and don't know what to do. It is precisely the same thing with blindness: It is not complete darkness. Oftentimes there are very strange shades of color in front of one's eyes: black, gray, white, blue, green, yellow . . . it depends."

- Fini Straubinger -- (taken from LAND OF SILENCE AND DARKNESS)

day 105 - Fresno, CA - the New Status Quo (or: Approaching Doom) - 1/19/2005

(15 minutes into "My Life with Morrisey") a reminder to myself*:


something that I discover:

  • - this is exactly what I said
  • - the perceived and accepted view of a nameless demographic, AND a secret membership
  • - the execution of this
  • - given TO them BY them
  • - thus, one spoon-feeds one's-self
  • - the horror of this:
    • 1) a singular perception of the status quo, and a rejection of said status quo
    • 2) the collective recognition of the other (said status quo), and, the collective opposition to said status quo . . . not to forget the unquestioned brotherhood of those in opposition
    • 3) the collective revolt against said 'status quo', accompanied by, or thus preceding --> the New Status Quo **
  • - wit at the expense of human intelligence -->
(and, a direct stab -->)

this film is already in league with its own army --> not that it was collectively conceived by the army . . . it was conceived by one of the army . . . in order to APPEASE THAT SAME ARMY.

* these words appear exactly as they were written

**members of the new, unassailable brotherhood:

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