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day 101 - Fresno, CA - Merry Christmas - 12/25

"Merry Christmas"

(Mr. MacDonald is sitting on his couch watching video footage of an autopsy. he is fixated on these images. the breastplate has been removed, and the inner organs are being examined. Mr. Norris sits next to him, his hand on his friend's knee. he is fixated on his friend's face. there are open gifts and scraps of gift-wrap strewn about them.)

Mr. Norris: I love you.

Mr. MacDonald: it all means nothing.

Mr. Norris: I love you more than life itself.

Mr. MacDonald: plenty of things are greater than zero.

Mr. Norris: I would dash in front of a steam engine to save you. I would die so that you could live.

Mr. MacDonald: isn't that lovely. wouldn't it be funny if I were to have terminal cancer?

(Mr. MacDonald's eyes are unflinching. they never stray from the television screen.)

Mr. Norris: those final moments of your life would be worth my death.

Mr. MacDonald: you really ought to get a hold of yourself, friend.

(on the television screen, a man weighs another man's heart on a scale. it is determined that the heart is of normal weight.)

*end*

day 102 - Fresno, CA - off - 12/29

Frank Stallone in:

"Happy New Year"

instructions for Frank Stallone:

  • 1. it is New Year's Eve, and by 3 o'clock, you will convince yourself that you have an assassin.
  • 2. you will decide this in the shower.
  • 3. your new year's resolution:
      to kill your assasin before he can get to you
  • 4. eat your dinner alone. remember to scrape the plate with your knife, and then lick the knife, the same way you did as an impoverished child.
  • 5. say to yourself: "I am always grateful to have a warm meal in front of me."
  • 6. later on in the evening, as the new year is approaching, raise your champagne glass and announce to your friends and relatives: "I will strangle him in his sleep before he can get to me."
  • 7. everyone will toast to this.


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